


Sometimes not caring means loving as well

by RainbowPlane



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bullying, M/M, One Shot, Trans Yamaguchi Tadashi, i can't get chatacters right, no wait... most likely completely ooc, probably ooc tsukki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:27:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowPlane/pseuds/RainbowPlane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi has beed doubting his gender ever since he started middle school. There he figured out there were clear diffenrences between him and the other guys. But then he realised his feelings for his best friend. He was only gay, that was it. There was nothing wrong with his body. He had just the right body, he only had different interest. But maybe he was wrong...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes not caring means loving as well

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick one shot I came up with this evening.. I hadn't been capable to write anything this summer holliday, and now that school had started today I suddenly wrote a whole fic. Well then. I'm sorry for the bad writing and OOCnes. I never get characters right. But even then, please enjoy!

‘’Ey Yamaguchi! What are you reading?’’ One of his classmates asked during lunchbreak. ‘’Oh, uh… Nothing really.’’ Yamaguchi answered. He was reading his favourite magazine online on his phone. ‘’Ah, come on. Let me see.’’ The same guy said. ‘’It’s nothing important, okay?’’ He tried to exit the page before he would take his phone. But Yamaguchi was too late. ‘’What’s this? Wait, no way! A girls magazine!!’’ His classmate yelled a bit too loud. Almost the entire class turned their head to see what was going on. Yamaguchi’s head turned completely red. 

‘’Please, give it back.’’ He asked softly. ‘’My my, an article about skin care. I didn’t know you liked this stuff Yamaguchi-sa uh –chan’’ ‘’I-I was just reading it for..’’ Then Yamaguchi became silenced, not knowing what to say. ‘’Reading it for what? Why did you stop in the middle of your sentence? Are you embarrassed or something? There is nothing to be ashamed of though. I’m sure your skin will be looking great with these tips.’’ The guy said mockingly. ‘’Just give my phone back!!’’ Yamaguchi was now yelling. He looked really angry, although he was trying to hold back some tears. ‘’Or what? You will call your boyfriend to hit me?’’ ‘’Perhaps he should.’’ A voice was heard at the entrance of the class. Yamaguchi directly recognised the voice. It was Tsukki, his actual boyfriend. 

‘’Wait, who’s he? He looks like a high schooler.’’ The guy asked, still holding the phone in his hand. ‘’Tsukki!’’ Yamaguchi yelled. ‘’I believe the phone in your hand doesn’t belong to you. It would be appreciated if you could return it to its owner.’’ Tsukishima simply said. ‘’Or what?’’ The guy was still stubborn. ‘’Or I might use your advice to hit you.’’ ‘’I said nothing about you hitting him, I was talking about his boyfriend.’’ ‘’You’re talking to him. Now give the phone back to Yamaguchi.’’ He never raised his voice or anything, but his look left such a strong impression on the boy that he gave the phone back within seconds. 

‘’I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’’ ‘’didn’t know what? That it was his phone? You were the one who took it from him though. Are you really that stupid?’’ Some of the people inside the class laughed at that last comment. ‘’Of course I knew it was his phone. It only surprised me he actually had a boyfriend, that’s all.’’ ‘’There was no need for you to know in the first place. Just leave him alone from now on. Am I clear?’’ Again the terrifying look. ‘’Y-yes.’’ Then the guy ran back to his desk. ‘’Yamaguchi, shall we spent the rest pf the break together then?’’ Tsukishima asked. ‘’Yes Tsukki.’’ Then they both left the room.

‘’What was the whole fuss even about?’’ Tsukishima asked as they arrived at the roof. ‘’I was reading something and he took my phone after I refused to tell him what.’’ Yamaguchi answered him. ‘’What were you reading then, I suppose the boyfriend comment wasn’t entirely random.’’ ‘’Nothing important.’’ ‘’Fine. But try to be more careful when you don’t want people to know something. I don’t want to safe you every time, you know.’’ ‘’Yes Tsukki, I understand.’’ That’s one of the many things he likes about Tsukki. When he doesn’t want to tell him something he won’t ask anything about it. Tsukki seems to understand that he doesn’t want to tell him everything. He probably doesn’t even care.

Nobody in class approached Yamaguchi about the incident anymore. There were only looks, a lot of looks. And sometimes notes in his desk, mostly with some comment about him being gay, or a girl. The gay part didn’t do him much, since he actually is gay. But he kept thinking about the comments on him being a girl. He had questioned that himself before. Ever since he started middle school. 

But he got rid of that strange idea when he figured he was in love with his best friend. He realised he was only gay, that was it. Or maybe it wasn’t. The doubts returned to him in his third year, about three months after he confessed to Tsukki. Yamaguchi was extremely happy when he got accepted. And after doubting his gender for a while a new thing came to his mind. Will Tsukki still love him when he actually was a girl? 

Yamaguchi was quite shocked when he realised Tsukki was probably gay, and that he wouldn’t like him again when he was a girl. So he decided to hide any of his doubts, at least until he was completely certain. But there was only one thing worse than feeling uncomfortable in his own body. And that was losing Tsukki.

He kept it up during the rest of middle school. Even though Yamaguchi saw Tsukki noticed something was wrong. He tried to keep smiling and making sure Tsukki wouldn’t worry. Not even knowing for sure if he would even worry. But things changed in high school. Especially when Yamaguchi got more and more certain he has always been in the wrong body. One day he decided to finally talk to his mother about his thoughts. She was very understanding. Saying that he already knew since the first time he asked to get a dress for his birthday. 

She told him she could go and make things real, actually getting him in a gender change program. But he said he wanted to think about it for a bit longer. Not telling him his concerns about his boyfriend, who he might lose. He spent a lot of time thinking about it. Spacing out a lot. The volleyball team didn’t seem to notice, since they have only knew him for a short time. But one day when walking home from practice, Tsukki asked him again.

‘’Why are you spacing out all of the time?’’ He asked. ‘’Huh, what?’’ Yamaguchi was actually spaced out again when he was asked the question. ‘’See, that’s what I was talking about. You have been like this for a while now. But it keeps getting worse.’’ ‘’It’s nothing, I’m just a bit tired. That’s all. New school, more work, and even volleyball. It takes up a lot of my energy.’’ ‘’That’s definitely not all. I have noticed this change ever since middle school. I never asked though, figuring it wasn’t a big deal. But now it’s getting worse.’’ Even though the sentences itself were very worrying, Tsukki never changed his expression. 

‘’You did? I’m sorry for worrying you then.’’ ‘’Why don’t you finally tell me what’s going on? Even though I usually don’t care about anyone’s problems, you’re still my boyfriend.’’ ‘’That’s the whole problem.’’ ‘’What?’’ Yamaguchi then realised what he had said. ‘’I-I didn’t mean it like that! Not at all!!’’ He nervously said, almost yelled. ‘’Then just tell me what you did mean. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?’’ ‘’I-uh, maybe we should find a place to sit first.’’ ‘’Fine, there’s a park around the corner, let’s go there.’’ Then Tsukishima started walking, the both of them not saying a word until they said down at a bench. 

‘’Well then, tell me. What did you mean with you being my lover being the whole problem?’’ Tsukki asked. ‘’Not lover, boyfriend.’’ Yamaguchi answered softly. ‘’I don’t understand.’’ ‘’I know. I have no problem at all with you being my lover, I love you to. There is only one problem.’’ Then Yamaguchi became silenced again. Not knowing how to continue. ‘’Me calling you my boyfriend?’’ ‘’Yes, I’m sorry. I know you probably won’t like me anymore after this, you probably only like guys. But I think I’m not a boy at all. I’m so sorry Tsukki for not telling you sooner. I just wanted to make up my mind first. So I didn’t lose you for nothing.’’ Yamaguchi talked really quickly. 

‘’I figured so.’’ Was Tsukishima’s only responds. ‘’Huh?’’ ‘’I already knew. Well, I thought so at least.’’ ‘’How could you possibly know? Why didn’t you say anything?’’ ‘’I remember finding some skirts and dressed in your closet while I visited you a long time ago. And seeing you acting so weird all the time made it even clearer.’’ ‘’You did? And you never said a word?’’ ‘’I thought you would tell me eventually. Even though I now even needed to take the first step.’’ ‘’But, you like boys, right?’’ ‘’No.’’ ‘’I don’t understand.’’ ‘’I don’t like boys. I like you.’’ ‘’Ts-tsukki!’’ Yamaguchi started to cry a little. ‘’Why would I care about my partners gender? As long as they aren’t that annoying I’m fine with it. And I seem to also have some interest in your personality.’’

‘’Tsukki, you are so honest today! Thank you so much.’’ ‘’It’s just a bother to keep you from falling when you space out again.’’ ‘’You sure that’s all?’’ ‘’And, I might love you.’’ Then Yamaguchi almost jumped onto Tsukishima. ‘’I love you too.’’ Tsukki felt Yamaguchi crying again. ‘’Hey, what can I do for my girlfriend to make her stop crying?’’ Obviously that question had the exact opposite effect. Yamaguchi crying even more, but only tears of joy. All the worries from the last year gone. Finally truly happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Me again. So most of the time people get this type of fic ideas from thinking about trans characters, I didn't. I really like the idea of pansexual Tsukki a lot. It would really suit him as well, just not caring about gender at all. Only thinking it's a bother to look at specific gender things while being attracted. I might use that concept again in the future, in maybe a better fic. With another ship even. But for now I hope you enjoyed reading this short fic! And also thanks for reading!!!! :)


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